Starved for Self
The hunger to be adored, served with a side of shame.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
Tonight’s tasting menu is inspired by the craving growing more and more present in todays polite society…the hunger to be liked. The desire to be perfectly plated and admired for all to see.
It’s considered most admirable to reshape ourselves for the appetite of others. To trim the fat, balance the acidity, to season according only for social context, never personal preference. The highest form of praise is to be considered palatable, a favorite.
In preparation for the evening, we’ve ensured that every form of conditioning you’ve practiced, consciously or otherwise, will be represented on the plate.
Leaving hungry is encouraged, if not inevitable.
Each dish has been designed to please. None are meant to satisfy. Finally, it’s worth noting that if one leaves a strange aftertaste, you’ve likely had it before.
We hope you enjoy, as each was chosen just for you.*
*No substitutions. No refunds for taste acquired under false pretenses.
Honeycomb with Bent Fork Tangle
A dish created for The People Pleaser
A raw cluster of honeycomb delicately seeps through the tines of a contorted serving fork, bent over backwards for your delight. Presented in a forced visual harmony, this softness proves it can yield under even minimal pressure, promising to alleviate the need for a backbone, guaranteeing your ultimate approval. A favorite among diners who prefer being told what they like.
Vegetable Mosaic with Whipped Potato Rosette
A dish created for The Social Climber
A brightly composed arrangement of raw vegetables, whipped potato, and ornamental leaves, this dish has been deliberately arranged into a face. Without identity, this mask can be tailored to please whomever is watching, offering the highest level of inflated worth. A frequent choice among guests who mistake social capital for self-esteem.
Oysters and Snails with Frog Legs, Served Alongside a Fish in a Beaded Heel
A dish created for The Pick-Me
Served together, this dish highlights its refusal to share the spotlight. On the left, we have a pairing of amphibian limbs and shellfish with live snails, and on the right we see raw fish nestled into a beaded satin heel. Utensils to descale the fish and dehydrate the snails will be necessary to consume this dish, and will only be provided upon request. It is the only dish served in duplicate, as being chosen once is never enough. Ideal for guests who say they’re not like the others, and prove it by being worse.
Vegetable Terrine with Precision Layering
A dish created for The Control Freak
A frozen block of vegetables suspended in clarified aspic, layered atop a mousse of foie gras, and served on brushed steel. Each component is arranged with architectural intent, with a single, elegant dollop of eel sauce to enhance the frigid umami sensation. Visually elegant, emotionally sterile, and firm under pressure. Best appreciated by guests who expect obedience from every bite.
Note: This dish must rest for exactly six minutes before slicing, allowing the lower layer to adjust to the optimal room temperature. Any attempt to consume it prematurely will compromise the structural integrity, rendering the dish inedible.
Prosciutto-Wrapped Melon on Ceramic Solitude
A dish created for The Martyr
A single slice of ripe cantaloupe lies underneath a dramatically draped salted prosciutto, served on decorative ceramic with no accompaniments. The prosciutto clings tightly, threatening to overwhelm the delicate nature of the sweet melon. Served cold, for those who abandon their needs in public, then wait for applause.
Molded White and Dark Chocolate Fish
For your final course this evening, we present imitation fish, created from dark and white chocolate. Each has been shaped in a production mold, not by hand. The texture is firm, the finish waxy, and the flavor profile remains hidden as to allow the appearance to take center stage. A final indulgence for anyone who confuses imitation with identity.
Bon appétit!
With great personal aesthetic,
Alexandra Diana, The A List
